


i see forever in your eyes

by tattookiss



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, F/M, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Jane Andrews Redemption, Justice, Like Goddamn I'm Going To Make You Guys Suffer, Season 3 Spoilers, Slow Burn, almost kisses, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-06 03:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattookiss/pseuds/tattookiss
Summary: In which Anne punches Billy like we were all hoping.~*~*~Something inside Anne snapped at that moment. A string that had been pulled taut to hold her back was split in half, striking all of her held back emotions. All of the definitive quieted anger buried under the surface from years of torment and suffering by his hand, it bubbled straight to the surface, threatening to spill over the edge. And nothing was stopping Anne from letting it.





	1. and i find myself distraught, of injustice that's been served

**Author's Note:**

> we can only hope that episode 7 has anne destroying billy's ass and giving us shirbert redemption

_“_You weren’t _there. _You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Raw, pulsing anger was coursing through Anne’s veins. Her breath came out laboriously as she glared at Billy, her eyes narrowed into thin slits. She was vaguely aware of the tense silence surrounding them, all eye glued to this enigma, a young orphan girl confronting a well-off boy from a family with great power.  
  
Anne knew she would be gossiped about, throughout Avonlea, and perhaps some of Prince Edward Island. Maybe even Charlottetown, she thought bitterly. People would whisper about the disruptive, hideous young girl at the country fair who didn’t seem to understand her place in society.

Anne couldn’t bring herself to care. For all she saw was Josie’s heartbroken and distraught reaction when asking what the boys were saying about her. Yes, Josie hadn’t been the nicest to Anne throughout the years they’ve grown to know each other, but Anne had seen that same look in girls at the orphanage. Tears were hastily wiped away after emerging from where they had disappeared with a boy, distraught, dulling eyes that spoke of trauma and feeling incorrigibly filthy despite committing nothing wrong.

Josie wasn’t the nicest to Anne, but who truly had been nice to her those first few weeks of school? Perhaps only Diana, her dearest kindred spirit, and a certain curly-haired boy, but Anne hastily pushed that thought away. What mattered was that no one deserved to feel used and dirty, believing to be shameful to even look at and have to suffer through the consequences and atrocious effects while the boy gets away freely.

To be quite honest, Anne didn’t know what she had planned to do when she confronted Billy. All she had felt in the moment was storming fury that needed to be quenched by some confrontation towards the unruly culprit. She couldn’t find it in herself to be scared as Billy loomed over her, his henchman at his side. Not only because the room was quite full of witnesses who wouldn’t let him do anything to her, but because Anne knew that under his bullying, Billy was just an insecure coward.

Maybe she had planned to elicit a confession from him, fess up to the lies he had spread throughout the room and admit the wrongdoings he had done to poor Josie in the shadows. Unsolicited actions that he needed to be punished for, with fair consequences.

However, when Anne looked the disgusting and putrid boy in the eye, she saw not one flimsy ounce of regret for what he had done. Nothing to conclude that he was beginning to feel the creeping guilt for spreading the scandalous, and very much false, rumors. No, she saw _animalistic _pride, a crude pleasure to have brought suffering upon someone who had wronged him from his skewed point of view. A poor girl who had been willing to open her heart to him and then denied him access to the thing he truly wanted, her virtue.

Anne’s lip curled as she glared at him, accusations sitting on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be let loose and flood this insufferable human being, but her mouth remained traitorously closed as she stared him down, daring him to continue with his weak act at a superiority complex.

Instead, she aimed for defense, trying to get this poor representation of the male gender to see how he is in the wrong, and that he needed to make it right. “I have eyes and I can see that she is _devastated. _You shouldn’t have touched her, Billy!”  
  
A flash of what – remorse, sorrow? – split across his face. No, Anne could see it was none of those. It was a pure annoyance, for an insolent girl that dared defy this patriarchy where the men scorned the women once they had been used up to their satisfaction. Well, Anne certainly wasn’t going to be put down without a fierce fight.

A snide smirk contorted Billy’s face, making it even more hideous, as he leaned slightly closer, perverted pleasure glinting in his eyes. “Well… I guess she regrets having loose morals.”

Something inside Anne snapped at that moment. A string that had been pulled taut to hold her back was split in half, striking all of her held back emotions. All of the definite quieted anger buried under the surface from years of torment and suffering by his hand, it bubbled straight to the surface, threatening to spill over the edge. And nothing was stopping Anne from letting it.

She didn’t pay any attention to Josie running out, even when Billy’s head turned to watch her go. Or even when the other girls called after, their footfalls thundering in the loud, heavy silence. It was all drowned out by the pounding of Anne’s pulse in her ears, hands curling into fists.

She distantly registered Gilbert in her peripheral, his stance rigid and eyes hard as he watched the exchange between her and Billy. A part of her wished he had confronted Billy with her, that he was just as angry as she was of the horrible sins committed this fateful night. But no, he was too busy staring deeply and lovingly into the eyes of his Miss Winifred Rose to hear of the gossip, the beautiful young woman currently hanging off of his arm as she watched along with him.

Anne would only admit this to herself weeks later, eyes staring blankly at her bedroom ceiling as she desperately tried to fall asleep. She would whisper into the dark a dreaded confession; that a tiny bit of the fury encompassing inside of her as her fist began to make its ascent towards Billy’s face was because of Gilbert. The boy who Anne had incredulously fallen head over heels in love with only to crash into oblivion, destined, _apparently, _to never be caught by him. 

Then her fist collided with Billy’s nose, a resounding snap echoing in the stale air of the stricken audience. Suddenly terribly distraught, Anne wished she truly had faded into oblivion because anything was better than the violence she had just taken part in.


	2. then you came strolling in, making it horrendously better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had been so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the steady footfalls until they were right beside her, casting an even darker shadow over the bleeding nightfall. Anne startled, her eyes shooting upward to where he stood, looking down at her. She watched him suspiciously as he lowered himself to the ground, pulling his legs up loosely to rest his arms on. 
> 
> Gilbert raised an eyebrow at her, “Chopping some onions?”

Anne stumbled back, pain blossoming across her knuckles as she watched Billy let out a loud howl, clutching his decidedly now crooked nose, gushing continuous streams of blood. Yet Anne found no satisfaction or hatred for him fulfilled, just a dull ache forming in her skull. Screams seemed to erupt around her in slow motion, most likely from Billy’s mother and sisters. Maybe Ruby too, for she had a fragile heart and that surely had shaken her up. 

Anne realized she should back away from Billy, the murderous fury in his eyes only growing more and more dangerous as moments passed, seconds away from him lunging at her. Her feet, unfortunately to her, remained firmly rooted in place, her body feeling similarly weighted down, like lead. She, instead, watched dazedly as his fingers grappled for the collar of her dress, but before he even came close, a figure appeared in her vision, shoving Billy backward. 

Anne’s eyes widened, it- it was Gilbert. He was jabbing his finger into Billy’s chest, hissing something quietly to Billy that had him flinching away, his eyes filling with something akin to grudging respect. Before Anne knew it, Gilbert was upon her in seconds, his presence pervading her senses. He gingerly grabbed her hand, his eyes glancing up to search hers worriedly. 

“Are you okay?” He asked softly, too softly, like Anne was some fragile china doll that needed rescuing. Well, she didn’t need anyone to save her, certainly not him. She had just punched someone for goodness sake! 

He continued to watch her, patiently awaiting an answer, eyes kind and probing. An inexplicable wave of anger crashed into Anne at that moment. How dare he put up this façade! Perhaps he could’ve made off as a worried friend with medical expertise, but he had no right to look at her like that! Like- like there was something hidden deeper beneath the depths of those brown and gold irises. Especially when he was courting another woman, who he had been quite enraptured with all day. No, Anne would not fall for Gilbert Blythe’s tomfoolery again!

She snatched her hand back, cradling it against her chest and pointedly ignoring the hurt look that appeared on his face. “I’m quite fine, thank you!” Anne snapped, mortified by the barely contained emotion in her voice. Why she sounded close to tears! And in clear view for Gilbert once again, well, she would not succumb to the universe’s incessant need to humiliate her and remind her continuously that he wasn’t and never would be hers. 

But then she clenched her hands together and a spark of pain shot up her hand and Anne remembered why she was in this predicament in the first place. Hurriedly, her eyes swept the crowd, searching for any familiar faces. Diana, Marilla, and Matthew were horribly absent, and a dreaded pit of embarrassment began to fill her chest. Pausing, her eyes lingered on where Miss Winifred Rose stood, probing Billy’s still bleeding nose. Anne tried to ignore the twinge of satisfaction when he let out a whimper from the pressure of Miss Rose’s fingers on a particularly sensitive spot. 

Rapidly, Anne whipped around, ignoring Gilbert’s protest, weaving her way through the crowd. The still gossiping crowd at that, staring her down as she moved past them all, her gaze zeroing in on the exit. She ignored Rachel Lynde’s judgmental stare but didn’t miss the slight curl of her lips. Maybe Anne would never hear the words aloud from the large majority of the townspeople, but she knew some of them thought Billy had it coming. It wouldn’t be the first time that it only took one person sticking up to the bully before the victimizing entirely crumbled. 

Quickly, Anne broke through the crowd and made her way outside, sucking in deep breaths of the fresh air. Dusk was beginning to fall and the decorations surrounding the grounds were beginning to look less celebratory and fantastical and more out of place, almost nonsensical. Quite like herself, Anne mused. 

She closed her eyes, relishing in the steady quiet, only interrupted by the friendly noises of nature. She would regain her composure, and, quite frankly, her sanity, before diving back into the belly of the beast. Anne couldn’t very well comfort and console Josie if she was still in her lost state of mind, now could she?

Settling into the grass, Anne pulled her knees up to her chest, pillowing her arms on top of them and resting her head. Today had certainly turned out quite the opposite of what Anne had wanted. It seemed frivolous now to even consider the notion of romance with a certain dark-haired boy. She was the bride of adventure and it would do Anne well to never forget it again. 

The whole idea of it in the first place was to make sure she didn’t get her heart broken over the silly idea of a boy taking interest in her. And scornful, gullible Anne had gone and done just that. Turns out she was a lot more susceptible to the gaze and touches of Gilbert Blythe than she originally thought. 

Sighing, Anne let a few tears escape the corners of her eyes, the full force of her tragically unreciprocated romance hitting her. Unrequited romances, in reality, are not as beautiful as she had assumed, they are quite dastardly things in actuality. 

Her thoughts wandered over the day’s events, settling on the humiliation of the failure her cake was. Anne had laughed about it later on with Marilla, but she really had wanted to do Mary proud. And the prospect of giving Bash just a little bit of Mary’s home cooking back to him, even if it wasn’t exactly the same, seemed glorious to her. Gilbert’s reassurance that Mary would’ve had quite the laugh over the circumstances did nothing to resolve her qualms, but only served to make Anne miss Mary even more. 

A wracking sob burst from her and she buried her face in the crook of her arms, desperate to cloak her mournful cries. Oh, how dearly Anne wished Mary were here now. She would know exactly what to do concerning both Josie and the confusing tangle of feelings Anne was experiencing at a constant, especially every time she looked at Gilbert. 

Mary would be able to explain the steps to parenthood, how women got pregnant, and it wouldn’t have been awkward or tense. It would’ve been a joyous occasion of Anne and her friends growing into womanhood, with a mentor to help them along the way. And Anne could’ve asked her advice on the trials of love, how you knew if you were desperately in love with someone, when it was just attraction, and whether or not it was worth pursuing. 

Anne loved Marilla like her own mother, from the depths of her soul, but she would never be like Mary for her. No, it appeared that there would never truly be another like Mary for Anne. She was a kindred spirit and those were few and far between, needing lots of trust and patience to truly survey if they met Anne’s expectations. 

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the steady footfalls until they were right beside her, casting an even darker shadow over the bleeding nightfall. Anne startled, her eyes shooting upward to where he stood, looking down at her. She watched him suspiciously as he lowered himself to the ground, pulling his legs up loosely to rest his arms on. 

Gilbert raised an eyebrow at her, “Chopping some onions?” 

She bit her lip, hastily reaching her hands up to scrub away the tears, but soon realized her effort was futile. He had already seen her in this flimsy state of distress, more than once she conceded, so why even bother? Dropping her hands back into her lap she glanced back over at him, huffing out a breath. 

“Out with it then, why are you here?” Anne peered over at him, trying not to maintain eye contact with those beautiful golden eyes, but vigorously avoiding gazing at his plush pink lips and splendid chin. She settled on a very expressive eyebrow. 

Gilbert paused, studying her, unreadable as his eyes swept over her. She squirmed, willing her very pale cheeks not to flush too deeply, and thanking God repeatedly that the darkness would cover most of the coloring embarrassment. It’s not like he hasn’t stared at her like this before, but after realizing just how strong her feelings were for him and then suffering through such a brutal rejection, it couldn’t be blamed of her to want him to look at her as little as possible. 

Finally, his voice filled the crackling silence, “How’s your hand?” 

She huffed, rolling her eyes and turning away from him. He waited that long, seeming to stare into her very soul and then asked such a circumstantial question. Why was she in love with him again? 

Yet when Anne glanced back over at him, catching his gaze on her, his eyes softer than ever, his body relaxed, unlike the rigid way he held himself earlier when she was berating Billy, she felt safe. How could he…? How could he look at her like that when a gorgeous woman was waiting for him inside? Wealthy, smart, charming, and certainly not going around punching fellow men in the noses. 

She sucked in a deep breath, banishing such thoughts from her head. No use comparing herself to a woman who had already won over his heart. She really was quite lovely and deep-down Anne might have been a little jealous, but she truly did want the best of happiness for them. 

“My hand’s fine.” She murmured, a little too late for there not to be a slightly awkward silence ensuing after her answer. To be truthful, her hand was not fine. When she stopped focusing on her heartache and settled back into her thoughts, Anne’s hand began to throb, a sporadic pain that increased at the slightest movement. 

Gilbert made a noncommittal noise at that like he didn’t believe her. Well, he wasn’t wrong that she was lying about the pain, but all that thought managed to do was send her into another rage of tumultuous frustration and anger. Why didn’t society believe women when they spoke the truth about their traumas? Why did Billy going around whispering explicit lies in the ears of his fellow classmates seem more believable than the traumatized emotion blatant on Josie’s face? 

Suddenly an icy cold enveloped the top of her hand, sending a spurt of pain frizzling through her body. Anne yelped, nearly jumping out of her skin and flinging a small white cloth hastily tied with twine off of her hand and into Gilbert’s lap. 

“Why would you do that without warning me first?” Anne accused, too busy glaring at Gilbert to truly focus on the amused smile unfurling on his lips. 

He made a noise of indignation at that, picking the small white cloth back up. “I knew that if I tried offering it to you, then you would’ve just refused it like the stubborn mule you are. It’s just a small cloth filled with ice; it will help with the swelling in your hand.” 

Anne nearly burst into tears right then and there, planning on giving him a piece of her mind regarding the stubborn mule comment, blubbering and all, but then he was gently grabbing her hand in his, sandwiching the ice pack in between. Her breath stuttered, effectively banishing any and all thoughts of lashing out at him. 

“I, uh, got the gist of the situation from Diana as to why you confronted Billy. I can’t say I feel particularly bad relaying the information that you broke his nose. You have quite the right hook.” 

Against Anne’s best wishes, a small smile found its way on her lips, bashful of the teasing praise Gilbert was giving her. “Yes, well, it would seem everything Billy has ever done to me and my treasured friends in the past finally came to a quite violent conclusion. It was a long time coming, if I’m being honest.”

Anne risked flicking her eyes up to meet Gilbert’s, shocked to find admiration reflecting back at her. 

Gilbert quirked his lips at her, “Well perhaps this time it will knock some sense into him, pun intended. It appears both mine and Cole’s confrontations with him did nothing to sway his degrading ways.” 

A laugh burst out of Anne’s lips at the thought of Cole finding out she had punched Billy. He’d probably congratulate her and insist they celebrate for her finally standing up to their former school bully on her own merits. The image of her and Cole clinking glass cups filled with sparkling cider at the benefit of her punching Billy sent Anne into another reel of giggles. 

Suddenly another thought struck Anne about what Gilbert said and she sat up straighter, her eyes zeroing in on Gilbert who watched her, amused. 

“What-” Anne paused, regaining a bit of her dignity and clearing her throat of the breathless quality her voice had taken on from her incessant giggle fit. “What did you mean by your confrontation with Billy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i couldn't help myself adding that line in. Gilbert's going to be a doctor and he didn't even survey that she had a cold and was crying. so i thought it would be amusing if at some point in time he realized she was upset and this was his way of telling her lmao. he's a confused, love struck idiot so it makes sense. and so is Anne, less idiotic though, which she unfortunately mourns upon. 
> 
> i hope you all enjoy this chapter. i know they're all very short, but it appears i'm stuck in a rut and i haven't been struck by any steady inspiration. i have the majority of it all planned out though, mark my words. 
> 
> don't forget to come yell at me on twitter @fangirl_til. 
> 
> kudos and comments are great, but only do it if you want to. 
> 
> lots of love,  
ley xoxo


	3. yet we always end up back where we started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne couldn’t fathom why she was getting so worked up over this, trying to spare the feelings of Gilbert’s potential beloved, but here she was. She jabbed an accusatory finger at him, stepping closer. Her filter of thinking things through before she said them was long gone, disappearing with the basking breeze, overcome by one of her passionate spiels.

In light of her queried question, Anne didn’t miss the immediate flush that came upon Gilbert’s face and neck, even in the dark of the night, or the nervous tic he had developed of rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, a few years back I may or may not have punched Billy and gotten into a slight scuffle with him. It wasn’t over anything as bad as your reasons, but he certainly deserved it, like always.” He kept his gaze away from her, focusing on their hands, which were surprisingly still settled close together, separated only by the ice pack.

Anne thought back to the last few years she had spent in Avonlea, trying to pinpoint when Gilbert could’ve had his altercation with Billy. There was a particular memory that stuck out to Anne, it had been right after Gilbert left to go work on the docks in Charlottetown, and Anne had suffered such great heartache at the fear of never being able to apologize for her thoughtless words.

Billy had come to school with a split lip and black eye, steadily refusing to tell even his closest friends what had caused such injuries. Really, it stood out to Anne because for a few weeks afterward, Billy said not one snide word to her, no mockery or dog barking, just a sullen glare. Could it have been because of Gilbert?

Anne bit her cheek, working up the nerve to ask Gilbert what the reason was behind him punching Billy. She didn’t want to seem so self-centered to believe it was because of her, but what if it was? Scrunching up her nose, she cleared her throat, causing Gilbert to snap his head back up to look at her.

“Um, do you suppose that you could tell me why you had punched Billy? I think it’s only fair since you know my reasons, we could think of it as a-a bonding experience of sorts.” Anne inwardly cringed at her wording, already regretting asking in the first place. Another thoughtless act on her part to convince him even more than he already believed that she just wanted to be friends with him. Which technically wasn’t a lie, but he needed to know that she wanted more.

Gilbert coughs, sounding similar to a slight wheeze before looking back at her and offering her a strained smile, “Well, I-. Um, if you t-truly want this to be a, uh, _bonding _experience then I suppose I could tell you.” He let out a chuckle at that, his voice pitching slightly higher than usual. “I actually punched him because of something he said about you. I wasn’t fully set on leaving Avonlea at that time, but I definitely knew I didn’t want him bothering you while I was gone. Truthfully, other things had also set me off, but that was the uh, main reason, I suppose.” He coughed again, his eyes flickering over to hers before settling back on their hands.

Anne didn’t quite know what to say to _that. _He was.. defending her honor? It seemed to sound like so, but no, it couldn’t possibly be true. He was just being courteous and preventing Billy from tormenting her again for a few blissful weeks. Though Anne supposed, she couldn’t see any of her other dear friends doing that for her. Ignoring the fact that the rest of her friends were girls, who didn’t have a violent bone in their body, of course.

Shaking her head quickly, she offered him a lopsided, predictably forced smile, “Enough about me, then. Why don’t you tell me about Winifred and-and your courtship with her?” She nearly choked on the words, trying to force the tears back before she shattered on the spot and revealed her entire being to him.

If anything, her probing only seemed to make Gilbert even more uncomfortable, as he began shifting restlessly, crossing and uncrossing his legs and deftly refusing to meet her eye. If anyone should be uncomfortable in this scenario, it should be Anne! Who asks their crush and unrequited love about the person who truly owns their heart? It’s just asking for her to get hurt all over again.

“We’re not _courting _per se. I haven’t, uh, exactly brought up an exact offer to her or anything, and she hasn’t exactly expressed open interest. I think we’re just seeing where it goes.” Gilbert hesitated, licking his lips before going on, “I’m not even sure I’m interested in her _romantically_.”

Anne is positively flabbergasted at his choice of words; how could he be so willing to string Winifred along if he wasn’t even sure of his intentions himself? That kind of thinking is atrocious and would only result in heartbreak for the woman. Well, Anne wasn’t one to keep her mouth shut when she had something to say so she told him just that.

“Pray tell, what exactly do you mean you’re not _sure_? Surely you know that if you’re not interested in Winifred then the best decision is to let her know so she doesn’t assume she’s been lead on!” Anne retorted, the softening anger that had just settled rolling back in fresh fumes of annoyance. She knew it wasn’t her business what Gilbert did or didn’t feel for Winifred, or how he went about it, but all she could think of was her heartache and how she wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.

“You can’t just string women along until you’re sure in your feelings. Gilbert, you need to make her aware that you intend to consider the possibility of no future with her.” Anne stated firmly.

Gilbert stared at her aghast, “That certainly wasn’t my intention at all! Winnie isn’t even sure of what the future holds herself! Besides, perhaps I will grow to-” he stuttered. _Don’t say it, please don’t say it, _Anne begged. “Grow to care for her more deeply…” His voice weakened and he couldn’t seem to raise his eyes to look at her.

Anne’s heart is in her throat and she can’t seem to stop now, thought after thought brewing in her throat, aching to be heard. All she can think about is how Gilbert couldn’t bring himself to say that four-letter word, a revelation that Anne didn’t want to see her true love realize about another woman. She felt so vulnerable, empty, and worn, the only choice being to yell and take her frustrations out on the boy who had torn her heart out, intentionally or not.

Anne scrambled to her feet and Gilbert followed soon after, her stance widened, hands planted on her hips and fierce gaze pinpointed at him. “Courting is usually commenced with the intentions of marriage. If you are unsure whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, then you maintain a cordial friendship until you are!”  
  
Anne couldn’t fathom why she was getting so worked up over this, trying to spare the feelings of Gilbert’s potential beloved, but here she was. She jabbed an accusatory finger at him, stepping closer. Her filter of thinking things through before she said them was long gone, disappearing with the basking breeze, overcome by one of her passionate spiels.

Gilbert wasn’t much better, his chest heaved from shuddering breaths. “Shouldn’t I have a say on how fast I want things to go with someone I could potentially love? I can’t fall in love with someone I don’t even know! And there’s nothing wrong with doing it for a courtship, then you’re both aware that there could be something between the two of you! No assuming, no circling around each other, just complete honesty.” They were nearly toe to toe with one another, Gilbert’s eyes bright in the looming darkness and Anne could just barely make out the different specs of color swirling inside of them.

“Because she could have already fallen for you and she’s scared to say anything!” Anne cried out, her voice on the brittle edge of breaking, “She might already love you, how could she not?! For your charms and your warm, welcoming smile. Your pursuit of a career in medicine, and how deeply you care for everyone you meet. Your love and gentleness with young children and how you don’t treat them like they’re incompetent, but like an equal that is innocent and pure, in need of protection.

Your easy acceptance for those different from you, and how you always seem to radiate safety and comfort through your beautiful molten gold eyes, more like gold than anything that could’ve been conjured up during the rumors of gold in Avonlea….” Anne trails off after that, her body shaking and eyes welling with tears on the verge of bursting. She couldn’t breathe, not after giving so much of herself away, her heart on full display for Gilbert to see.

Gilbert can’t seem to find the words to say, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Anne can only see another indirect rejection, embarrassment floods her that she managed to reveal how she felt to him when she was trying to defend the woman he wanted to consider a future with. He could never see her that way and now he knows she wanted him to.

Anne finds herself turning away, blabbering on about how he should just forget everything she said and that she should _really _be finding Marilla now anyways, but then Gilbert is grasping her wrist, turning her into him. His eyes are frantic and searching, desperation in every crevice of his faint whisper, voice raw as it balances over the edge of an abyss of that changes everything.  
  
“Did you mean what you said?” It’s barely a sentence, an outtake of breath garbled with speech, but Anne is frozen in place, her large blue eyes absorbing this beautiful boy, soon to be a man, trying to focus on what he’s said but hypnotized by his constellation of summer freckles, starlit by the night sky.

Then Gilbert is tugging Anne closer, the warmth of his body emanating off of him in waves and surrounding her entire being. His hand slides down to grasp hers, ever so gently as it’s still injured from…. what? Anne couldn’t seem to remember anymore.

“Did you mean what you said?” He repeats, his voice is a crack in the thin ice they’ve been walking on for years now, honestly. Never addressing the pent-up emotions and heat fueled gazes that haunted the other wherever they went.

And Anne is _so _tired of it, ignoring the electric buzz that’s always an underlining current in the background of every interaction, but steadily growing into a constant turmoil.

She sucks in a deep breath, embracing everything she feels and everything Gilbert seems to feel too, her nerves alight with a brazing excitement and opens her mouth, “_Every single word_.”

It almost sounds anticlimactic, in light of the build-up and everything that’s been lingering between them for so long, but the relief is so overwhelming to Anne. Finally admitting something that had always been there, waiting for Anne to unlock it and bring it into her heart.

Anne glances up at him, her breath stuttering at how close their faces have become. When did they get so close? Gilbert was merely a hairsbreadth away, his breath fanning out over the apples of Anne’s cheeks. He leans in imperceptibly closer and this is really happening. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert is going to kiss Gilbert Blythe, her true love, her _destiny. _And it’s going to be like truly living life to the fullest for the first time, a phenomenon of a burst of color spearing her vision, clearing the air for the both of them, a future together-

“Gilbert!”

Anne nearly throws herself five feet away from Gilbert, stumbling to the ground and landing hard on her behind. Gilbert has otherwise scrambled away considerably, his cheeks flushed a deep red. It’s like a cold bucket of ice water has been dumped over their heads and Anne is sure she looks the same.  
  
How could she? Try to kiss Gilbert when there had been another woman staring deeply into his eyes just an hour before? How could _he_?!  
  
Anne was furious, everything was no longer a hazing blur, but a burning inferno of fury. Maybe Gilbert Blythe was just like his other male classmates, toying with young girls’ hearts until he obtained just what he came for.

Anne didn’t miss the flinch in his face when he offered his hand to her, her name already forming on his lips, and she stood up herself, brushing off her dress smoothly. It was like a slap to the face with the slate all over again, tumbling them back to where they first began.

For a split-second Anne thought he would risk reaching for her again, his hands hovering aimlessly in the air, but then Winnie called his name again and they fell to his side, clenching uselessly into fists.

Winifred appears round the corner soon after, her eyes lighting up at the sight of them, no, _Gilbert, _Anne amends. She watches as Winifred lifts her skirts, teetering down the slight slope in the ground before Gilbert swoops in and clasps her arm, steadying her. Anne tried to ignore the feeling of her heart bleeding out.

“Hello, Anne! How is your hand fairing? That was quite the blow you delivered to that young boy.” A graceful smile appeared on Winifred’s lips, but Anne couldn’t find it in herself to smile back, settling for a tight grimace.

“It’s much better now, thank you.” Anne murmured. An awkward silence enveloped the crisp air, no one quite able to form the words to break it.

Then Gilbert cleared his throat, “Ahem, is anything wrong, Winnie?”  
  
“Oh!” Winifred’s face curved into a soft smile, “Yes, I came to get the both of you. My parents are ready to depart, tired out from the thrilling day they’ve had. And Anne, dear Marilla was looking for you.”

An escape, bless wonderful Marilla, Anne thought. Hurriedly, Anne straightened her crooked hat and made to move past the other two, but Gilbert called after her, effectively freezing her in place.

She refused to turn around, not daring to risk looking him in the eye and spill how she felt in that moment, mortified and ruined.

“I just wanted to say… remember to keep lots of ice on your hand to prevent further swelling.”

Anne didn’t let her shoulders slump, giving away the disappointment settling inside her at his reply, instead giving a quick nod of her head.

It would only be years after that she would find out she hadn’t imagined the quiet grunt coming from around the corner as she made her way back into the tent or the hissed whisper that sounded awfully like Winifred berating Gilbert, “_You silly boy, how did you manage to be so daft to mess up comforting the poor girl?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sO THIS NEW EPISODE OMGG. The best birthday gift I ever could've received honestly. I loved every single that happened and I am so excited for the future of shirbert. I am very disappointed in Diana, and I am majorly hurting for Anne. So so sOOOO proud of everyone who stood up for their rights and for Anne for being so amazing. 
> 
> and YES BITCH SHIRBERT POWER COUPLE! Literally all I've ever wanted. Also I swear I wrote this before i saw the end scene. I never let myself hope for a starry night shirbert conversation in canon, but WE GOT IT AND I LOVED IT! They LOOKED AT EACH OTHER'S LIPS!!!! CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE?!?!??!?!?! AND AN ALMOST KISS??!!? NEARLY SCREAMED OMFG!!! Okay, anyways, I am over the moon with this episode and I cannot wait to see what else is in store for them. Let's hope that even episode Gilbert doesn't let us down. 
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated, but only do it if you want to! come yell at me on twitter @fangirl_til :))) 
> 
> lots of love,  
ley xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> couple goals is both of you punching the sexist, racist, homophobic, and sexual assaulter of the town.
> 
> ~*~*~  
originally, i was hoping to post this when i had the entire work complete, but somehow it's spiraled out of control and i now have 4K words of this monstrosity. please enjoy anne punching billy for now and gilbert watching cause he's an even episoded dumbass :))) hopefully from the previews we've seen of them in the barn means all is well and moody is third-wheeling. 
> 
> kudos and comments are such a blessing, but please don't feel obligated. come yell with me on twitter @fangirl_til 
> 
> lots of love,  
ley xoxo


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